Well… It’s late and I’m awake… thinking. What’s new. I seem to have gotten myself into a situation. Seems to me that the situation just came upon me. Not that I was forced into it, no. I welcomed said situation with open arms. Now I feel like a passenger on a train ride. A passenger who knows sorta where she wishes to go, but is not quite sure of the destination she will arrive at. Things like this are frightening. The unknown. Ignorance breeds fear though fear is such a hindrance. I came to a point in my life recently where I had began conquering my fears. Great fears that have long followed me. Love gave me that courage to spread my lovely wings and fly without caring much for the hurt of what it’d feel like falling. When I fell though, it hurt like a bitch, but I survived. I mean I’m here. The strong fall, but stand again. Funny, it is love that has reinstated a fear I thought I had overcome. No, I guess I merely faced it, but that was all. JUST FACED…smh Love is a delicate entity it is. Now this train is speeding up and the view is becoming blurred, as I wiz by the scene. My eyes are closed and the car is shaking for fear of my heart breaking. Vulnerability. To be vulnerable and exposed is so earth shaking. It’s like being naked in front of a room full of people. I mean imagine it is. I never experienced such a situation and hope that I will always be able to say I never did lol. BUT it’s understood the uncomfortable place in life I’m in. I thought it would be as simple as just giving into your heart. A sweet surrender. BUT oh man was I wrong…. I just don’t want to think myself into becoming so scared that my eyes stay closed and I drift off into a dream and end up in a crazy place when I awake from this anxiety ridden ride of mine. It’s funny I used a train ride to describe my situation and I love the train. It’s one of the most comfortable ways to travel. Peace remains within me. Namaste.
-Indigo Love
indigolove 